Around and Around I Go

I’m so incredibly sad. My heart is breaking. I want a baby with MaineGuy and I’m afraid he’s going to stay on the fence (or the ship) until the decision to not conceive is made by default.

I share my sadness with MaineGuy over email,  his responses are sweet yet non-committal.  I want assurance. A promise he’ll do what he can to make this dream come true for me. I also want to not be this person I’m being right now.

I would rather be the person who says this is what I want. I’d love to do this with you, and then trust  it will work out one way or another.  But that’s not me. I’m firmly attached to the idea of being with MaineGuy and having his baby.  I’m a Scorpio; when we commit to an idea, or a person, we stay to the end.

Next,  I want to be the person who focuses on what I can control. Myself.   Get myself healthy, strong and happy so I’m at my best when the opportunity to conceive arises.  Before I can be that person, I just need to hear him say ‘we will make this happen’… which brings me right back to where this post started.

Posted in Fertility, MaineGuy | Leave a comment

Ticky Tocky

Like every milestone in our relationship, MaineGuy is probably going to attempt to ignore that June 15th is our 6 month mark, and the timeline he proposed for taking action on whatever the next step happens to be in our relationship. Knowing him, he’ll manage to be on a ship during that time.

His priorities in this conversation appear to be:

  1. Selling my condo
  2. Sharing expenses

My Priorities are:

  1. Marriage
  2. Baby Carriage

What I call the cart, he calls the horse. I believe marriage should come before selling my condo. The condo is my security blanket. It’s not logical, it’s emotional. MaineGuy doesn’t do ‘emotional’.  MaineGuy thinks selling the condo should come before marriage, or, at least, he doesn’t understand the dependency on committing before selling.

You see. I want to know MaineGuy is there to protect me now and later.  I want to know he has my back now and forever.   MaineGuy claims marriage isn’t security. I disagree. Divorce isn’t security, but Marriage is.  I tell MaineGuy I’ll sell my condo, as long as he can bounce me back.

I want to be an official member of this family. Good God. It’s like a secret club, and no one gave me the secret password. I cook, I clean, I dodge flying poop, and he still won’t give me his name. MaineGuy is MeanieButt.

 

 

 

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He Arnold, Me Maria.

Have you heard? Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are separating. Dr. Helen Fisher, of Chemistry.Com shared her observations of the couple on “The Early Show” today.

Fisher said, “I find that these two people are drawn to each other originally because the high testosterone type, as Arnold certainly is, needs the people skills, the verbal skills, the compassion, the nurturing, the intimacy of the high estrogen type, which is what Maria is, and that often needs the decision-making and the pragmatism of the high testosterone type.”

MaineGuy and I are a high testosterone/estrogen couple.  According to Fisher, high testosterone types tend to be aloof, they get to the point, they’re pragmatic, and they can ignore a great deal. As they focus on one thing, they can ignore everything else, such as romance and intimacy.  Fisher suggests Maria has been deprived of the deep connection she craves with Arnold, and is now seeking more.

Dr Fisher,  you’ve nailed MaineGuy and I.  I tell the Man I’m craving intimacy, I give him simple requests – such as a candlelight meal on Happy You’re not My Mother Day.  I even provided the meal, he just had to heat it up and light a candle.  Yet, he still missed the mark. Toilet training him must have been hell. You can point the boy’s peepee at the target, but you can’t make him hit it.

Fisher claims Arnold will fight to win Maria back. High testosterone types don’t like to lose. That’s MaineGuy. He rises to the occasion, once it reaches critical levels.  Until then, he plays deaf, dumb and blind.

The man has forgotten my birthday, ignores our anniversaries, and passes up every opportunity to make me feel special. On Happy You’re Not My Mother’s Day, the man didn’t even give me a card to say thank you.  In over two years time, he has never given me a card or token of appreciation (yes, he’s renovating my condo and believes this good deed gives him a free pass in our relationship).

I didn’t expect the kids to acknowledge me on this day,  I’m not their mother.  MaineGuy, on the other hand, should be ashamed of himself.  I don’t receive the unconditional love children give their parents, eliminating any question of whether or not it’s worth it. MaineGuy is the only possible source of appreciation in this situation. I was thirsty for love, and he gave me salt water.

MaineGuy departed for sea the following day, leaving me to serve as the punching bag of a hurting child. It’s really no different than Osama bin Laden using women as a human shield while the Navy Seals shot at him. Surely, you see the similarities.

Smarten up MaineGuy and Arnold. If you act quick, you can make it up to us:

Posted in Intimacy, MaineGuy, Step Kids | Leave a comment

Smitten Kitten

It’s true. Seriously. I kind of can’t believe it myself. In a week’s time, I went from feeling unappreciated, unattractive and ignored with MaineGuy, to a smitten little kitten.  It didn’t involve expensive gifts , or large doses of alcohol. How did this happen?

The only things I did differently was to stop ruminating, and  adopt some of the principles for making marriage work.

MaineGuy and I now begin each day with what I like to call our Hour of Power. Goofy, I know. Just like me.  The first hour of our day is spent discussing our priorities for the day.  It’s the equivalent of the Scrum I have with my team each morning. What did you do yesterday, what are you doing today. Any obstacles or highlights?  Only difference is I hope to be felt up during this meeting, unlike meetings with co-workers. This doesn’t require a full hour, you could do it in 15 minutes if you’re limited on time. We just happen to have the luxury of spending an hour together.

Upon coming home, we then inquire about the other’s day. We ask specific questions. It’s not just ‘how was your day’, ‘good you’. No. I ask  ‘How did you make out with xyz?’. Xyz being whatever we discussed in the AM.  We’re both fully engaged in our conversations now. We’re connecting, and I love it.

Oh, I’ve also started working out. PMS has a habit of putting me into a tail spin, and leads me to worry and ruminate. Rumination is a significant risk factor of depression. I’ll write more about this another time.  For now, I’ll tell you Exercise has been proven to be as effective in treating depression, as Zoloft. It’s huge. When I begin to ruminate, I work out. Honest to God, it works. Who would have thought?

MaineGuy has grown too. He now disagrees with respect and allows his decisions to be influenced by me. No more tude, criticism, defensiveness or contempt; the 4 most destructive behaviors to a successful marriage. OK, I threw tude in there. Doctors writing books don’t use the word ‘tude’. They should.

I don’t know who changed first, but I’ve gone gaga over MaineGuy.  If MaineGuy and I can transform our relationship, so can you. We have divorce, step relationships, hormones, distance and debt to contend with.  Perhaps, practicing the principles for making marriage work, and working out, will benefit you as much as it has us. You think?

Posted in Conflict Resolution, Happiness, MaineGuy, Marriage | Leave a comment

Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

I’ve come to the realization, if things continue along as is with MaineGuy and I, we’re in trouble.   We’ve struggled to communicate our needs as we do not share the same native tongue (Mars, Venus, you know how it goes).

I once told MaineGuy I just need him to love me more, he replied “I don’t know what that means”. Of course he doesn’t.  I’m not dating a lesbian, we need a translator.

Meet John Gottman, my translator. John authored 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. In preparation for this book, Gottman video taped couples, systematically observing how they behave and speak with each other. He then follows them over time to observe what happens in the relationship. He has been able to predict with 91% accuracy which couples will stay together, and which will divorce. This level of accuracy is unprecedented in the field of psychology (How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky).

I’m no dummy.  I’m taking John’s advice, and adopting the 7 principles of successful marriages, immediately, if not sooner.

  • Make time.
  • Successful couples spend 5 hours per week being together and talking.
  • Begin spending 5 minutes every day expressing appreciation or gratitude for particular behaviors of your Partner’s.
  • Further, before parting in the morning, ask what one thing each of you is going to do that day.
  • When you meet again in the evening, have a reunion conversation in a low stress setting, and listen.
  • Express admiration, appreciation, and affection.
  • Happy relationships are characterized by a ratio of positive to negative affect of five to 1. For every negative behavior or criticism, there are 5 positive ones. (We could both get better at this. I’ve become such a nag, and he seems to see everything I do ‘wrong’. Such as not stocking the fridge correctly).
  • Increase the number of times you show affection  physically and verbally (e.g. saying or emailing “I love you” more often). A spontaneous kiss while doing household chores can do wonders.
  • Communicate your admiration and gratitude directly. According to a large German study, it takes an average of two years to adapt to the wonderfulness of a relationship; after that we start taking each other and the relationship for granted (bingo! We just past the 2 year mark). Giving genuine praise (e.g., I’m so proud of you for skiing down that massive bunny slope), not only makes your partner happy, but inspires her/him to strive for greater heights.  This is how you evoke the best in each other, helping them come closer in reaching their ideal selves.
  • Capitalize on Good Fortune
  • This strategy involves taking delight in your friends’, family members and partners windfalls and successes. Social psychologists have shown that what distinguishes good and poor relationships is not how the partners respond to each others disappointments and reversals, but how they respond to good news.
  • Respond with interest and enthusiasm to your loved one’s good news, however small. Studies show those who tried to do this 3 times a day over the course of just a week became happier and less depressed. If your partner is excited to tell you something, pay close attention, ask lots of questions and relive the experience with him. If appropriate, insist on telling others and celebrating (We could definitely use some work here. We haven’t celebrated one single milestone of our relationship, which is important to me).
  • Manage Conflict
  • Observations of hundreds of couples have revealed unhappy marriages are characterized by a particular style of handing conflict; a harsh start-up in disagreement (e.g making a face, using a tone or sarcasm, tuning out).
  • Happy couples don’t fight less or any less loudly; they just fight differently.
  • One of the secrets of the happiest couples has been found to be something very powerful but actually simple. It involves injecting friendly humor in the middle of an argument. (e.g., screwing up your face like you’re a 2 year old).
  • Share an inner life
  • Even if you and your partner excel at doing all the other things on this list, it won’t necessarily mean you are happy and fulfilled together. In truth, a deep sense of shared rituals, dreams and goals underlies thriving relationships. These are all elements that connect you to each other and create a singular inner life shared by just the two of you. You grow together, explore new directions and take risks together, challenge our assumptions together, and take responsibility together.
  • Every week try to do at least one thing that supports your partner’s roles (eg., as a parent, skier, manager, chef) and dreams (to travel abroad to climb the corporate ladder, to go back to school, and so on). The goal should be to honor and respect each other and each other’s life dreams and interests, even if you don’t share them.

I’m excited and relieved to have an instruction manual.  We do most of these 7 behaviors some of the time, but not as much as we should.

 

Posted in Conflict Resolution, Marriage | 1 Comment

A Sure Thing will Cost You

In every relationship, there comes a time where the ignoramus of the relationship (the male), begins to take God’s Gift to him for granted (the female, of course).  MaineGuy and I have finally reached this milestone.

MaineGuy is taking me for granted in every room of the house. He thinks I’m a sure thing and therefore  no longer appreciates me, or works for it.

First I was sad, then I got mad. Now I’ve got the ‘your loss’ attitude.  His behavior has fueled my desire to get in shape the way one wants to get in shape when they break up with someone. You know, just in case you bump into them and they’re with another girl.  You want them to rue the day they did wrong by you. Only difference is we haven’t broken up.

Today, I finally stepped out of my Uggs and took my first steps of the season in  a pair of CFM pumps.  Kicked off the transformation with a work out and appointment with my hair stylist.

For bed time, I’m wearing  the pajamas you would wear if you were going to give it up, yet the message being sent is that of a girl wearing flannel.  Don’t judge me. He deserves mixed messages.

I used to dress for him, now I’m dressing for me.

I know this is a standard part of every long term relationship, but I’m not having it. I moved to be with a Gentlemen who spoke with respect and kindness. I’m not going to live with a grump who no longer looks at me.

I know my street value, MaineGuy.  I’m funny with a rack.  Cha Ching.

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Letting My Hair Grow

It’s a good thing I’ve let my hair grow, otherwise this relationship might not work.

When I try to introduce something of mine into the home, MaineGuy tosses it out, and instead opts to keep what once belonged to him and his ex.  I’m not referring to big furniture, I’m talking about something as trivial as a trash can. His justification is he spent money on his version of whatever it is I want to replace.

Clearly, this is a misunderstanding.  I too paid for my belongings. He must believe one of the following:

  1. I slept with the cashiers to get my belongings for free.
  2. He’s mistaken the freckle on my forehead for a dot and believes I pay with rupees,  having a lower exchange rate to the MaineGuy Dollar.
  3. He knows best about everything, and I’m just a dumb girl with bad taste in furnishings and men.

It’s not about the actual trash can, it’s about the lack of compromise and conflict resolution that makes for a healthy relationship.  If we disagree, further conversation and negotiations are warranted.  In a relationship of equals, one does not steam roll.

It’s gotten to the point where I want to  feed him non-organic food and bad milk, just to get him back. That’s crazy behavior.

When a relationship starts bringing out the crazy in you, it’s a warning flag.  Something needs to change.

Tomorrow, I’m cutting my hair.

Posted in Adjusting to Change, Conflict Resolution, MaineGuy | Leave a comment

Sweet Talker

Outside of sending angry emails to MaineGuy, I haven’t written much lately. Below is an excerpt from my last email. I wasn’t laughing when I wrote it a few hours ago, but I’m laughing now.

To set the stage, I should tell you he’s only been home for 3 of my 16 weeks as a Mainer. He was due to return 3 weeks ago. Each week he tells us he’ll be home the following week. Then, 2 days before his much anticipated return, he tells me it’s been delayed. I’m left to deal with the aftermath while he goes back out to sea.

I’ve told him numerous times we could share our finances if we’re married,  and then he could work less.  He’s reluctant to remarry. Understandable, considering his past. For that very reason, I’ve taken the leap first, and have gone above and beyond, in demonstrating my commitment to us.  This was my response:

What the hell are you protecting yourself from? I’d  marry you even though I want to slam you upside the head with some common sense. That’s love and commitment.

I bet I just sweet talked MaineGuy into buying me a ring.

Posted in Communication, MaineGuy, Marriage | Leave a comment

Depuff eyes after crying

I got the much anticipated job offer. It’s a keeper. I’m relocating to be with the Mainers in 3 weeks. Ironically, shortly after I move to be with them, they’ll all be leaving me.

LittleSister says “Did you really expect anything else for your life, Molly? Your timing has never been good”. She’s right. Not only will they be leaving  me, it’s during the week of Christmas and New Years. I can’t think of a worse time of year to be alone.  Work will be quiet and slow, then I’ll go home to an empty house with no friends or family within a 100 mile radius.

I’ll be a crying mess when dropping MaineGuy off at the airport, as well as the days leading up to it.  If the home felt like a home, it would be less of an issue. But it won’t for sometime as I don’t want to come in and change things for the little Mainers.

MaineGuy would support me in changing things around, but I think the MaineKids would resent some chick moving in and changing things. So instead, I’ll suck it up and continue living with a gigantic imitation of a dead banana tree. Perhaps it once looked lively, now the damn leaves fall out every time I go near it.

I desperately want MaineGuy to stay home this holiday season. Give me time to adjust before leaving me alone during the Christmas season.  He tells me not to make him feel bad about leaving.  The alternative is me feeling sad being left 4 days after relocating, and over Christmas.  The bad timing is no one’s fault. It just sort of worked out like that.

Therefore, I need to learn how to depuff my eyes after crying.  I’d rather not look like a crying mess at a new job. What I’ve learned from experience is to never go to sleep immediately after crying. Your eyes will look like blimps upon waking up. Rinse your eyes with ice cold water before going to bed and hope for the best. Next morning, lay a cold compress soaked in rose water over your eyes for 15 minutes.

I’m giving my notice tomorrow. The next 3-6 weeks will be a challenging time.  Change has never been easy for me, even when it’s for the best (such as relocating to be with my most favorite Mainers of all time).

Where in God’s name does one find rose water? Can I buy in bulk?

Posted in Adjusting to Change, MaineGuy | Leave a comment

The Waiting Game

My life has been put on hold. By me. That’s right, I’ve stopped time from passing. Who needs botox?  My life hinges on a pending job offer that would allow me to relocate to Maine.

I have big plans when I move. Big. Big. plans.  I’m going to try  every type of Yoga until I find one I can tolerate.  You can find me giggling fat away with Laughter Yoga and melting the pounds off with Hot Yoga.  I’m not looking forward to any of that, but I’m in Maine. It’s either yoga or play hide n’ seek with a moose.

I also plan on mastering how to cook with two kids in the kitchen vying for my attention. I’m a terrible multitasker. Hush up Cocky reader. You are too. Multitasking is a big ol myth.

MaineGuy doesn’t believe this, but I used to be a good cook.  Cooking for 2 adults in a controlled environment is completely different than cooking for 4 in a man’s kitchen who judges whether or not I’m dirtying  up too many dishes.

Honestly, I’m surprised they eat what I cook. I made spaghetti a few weeks ago. Seriously, what could be easier? I botched it.  It was stickier than sticky rice.  Another time, I attempted to make Nachos. Thanks to his naughty microwave, the cheese disintegrated and the chips were glued to the paper plate. I’ve burnt pancakes and failed to melt the cheese in grilled cheese sandwiches. The fire alarm has gone off twice now and the alarm company has threatened to send over police and fire men if I don’t step away from the stove. Pronto.

I tell MaineGuy I was such a good cook back in the day, I could have had my own show. MaineGuy retorts “Sweetheart, unless the show is called  ‘F’ing it up in the kitchen with Molly’ don’t give up your street corner just yet”. Pssh. Keep it up Popeye.

Posted in Culinary Delights, MaineGuy, Relocation | Leave a comment

Japan’s solution for ending my self neglect

Like so many women, I haven’t been working out or taking care of myself.  Not a veggie or vitamin has passed my lips in months.  I’m a frumperdinkle.  This on top of MaineGuy’s home being so cold it warrants thermal underwear is killing my mojo. Oh, how I miss the frilly skirts of summer.

It’s no surprise this is impacting my relationship with MaineGuy. I don’t feel desirable. Us girls know that’s what it’s all about. I’m not sure if I’m projecting how I’m feeling onto him, or if his attraction to me has changed. I’m not asking as it’s the equivalent of asking a guy if these jeans make me look fat. If you have to ask, you probably know the answer.

The Kaizen technique is going to get me in shape. Kaizen is a Japanese business philosophy. Essentially it’s incremental, continuous improvement.  The thought is several baby steps are more likely to result in success, than an all or nothing approach. I’m generally an all or nothing kind of girl and it hasn’t served me well.  If it’s good enough for Nike and Toyota, it’s good enough for me.  I bought a kaizen book years ago. It’s been collecting dust up until a recent interview with an Employer who manages with this technique.

With Kaizen, the rule is you can’t take a step until the previous step is habit. Patience is required.

I have 3 major goals:

  1. Increase flexibility
  2. Drink 120 oz of water a day.
  3. Cardio or strength training 3 days a week.

For the next 2 weeks, the following steps will be taken:

  1. 5 minutes of stretching, daily.
  2. Drink 8 oz of water upon waking up daily
  3. 10 push ups twice a week. Oh hush up. Baby Steps.  The Japanese said so.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must stretch and flex. Oh yeah, Baby. Watch out Giselle, Molly’s bringing her A game.

Posted in Intimacy | Leave a comment

Bad Mood Busters

I don’t need a mood ring to tell me when I’m in a funk, or on my way to a funk.  It happens to all of us.  We have no one to blame but ourselves when we go into a funk. Bad thoughts equals bad mood.  Good thoughts, good mood.

Mind control. No sweat, ay? I wish.  This is tough work.  Thoughts attract like thoughts. One bad thought is all it takes to give birth to a family of bad thoughts (like plants, thoughts are apparently self fertilizing hermaphrodites)

Here are some tips to improve mind control.  

1. Keep your chin up

Literally, chin up. According to Jim Fannin (A-Rod’s performance coach, and more), keeping your chin up will keep the bad thoughts away.

You must try this exercise (just do it, it will take a whole minute).

  1. Close your eyes. for the entire exercise.
  2. While dropping your chin towards your chest, think of a negative thought.
  3. With negative thought in mind, tilt your chin up to the sky (eyes closed!)
  4. Hold it for 30 seconds.
  5. 75% of us will lose the negative thought while our chin is up.
  6. Going forward, chin goes up whenever a negative thought takes over. Just watch where you’re walking, else you may step in poop, or, worse, I may lose a reader to a bus accident.

2. Get in the Zone.

Also known as finding flow. Flow is to become so involved in the task at hand, you lose track of time.  It can be found in activities challenging you to learn, yet not so challenging you feel like a failure.  Surprisingly, although most of us report we are happier when out of the work place,  work provides us with more opportunities for flow than leisure time.  Rarely is flow found in activities such as watching TV or relaxing.

Another source of flow are activities with a clear goal and limited appropriate responses. Such as writing, cooking, playing the drums, karaoke or playing a sport.

3. Be a Lazy Bum.

This is code for meditation. The M word often scares us ‘normal’ people.  Huh, marriage is an M word. I wonder if MaineGuy is afraid of all words beginning with an M.

OK Macho Men, the freaking marines mediate,  athletes do it, and you can too.  Mediation is good for you.  MaineKids always ask how I know something. They mock me with ‘lemme guess, did they do studies Molly?”.  As a matter of fact, they did.

Just sit, eyes closed, and continuously return your focus to your breath as random thoughts cross your mind. 5 minutes is all it takes to reap benefits.

Posted in Happiness | 3 Comments

Rules Are Love

I’m told an employer in Maine is preparing an offer for me. I can’t give the employer name just yet.  I’ll give some hints, because we all know I’m a bad secret keeper when it comes to my ‘private’ life.  Sorry MaineGuy. He is such a good sport being the subject of so many stories.   Cheers to MaineGuy.

Ok, you get 3 hints:

  1. The 2 founders of the company have been on Oprah.
  2. If you got this kind of coal in your stocking, you’d be pretty darn happy.
  3. Haan Solo ( you know, Harrison Ford’s character in Star Wars).

Although I’ll spend more time at work than any where else, the job is the least of my concerns. When work becomes the easy part, that’s when you know life is hard.  I’m excited and terrified of the move.

Taking care of somebody else’s children, while the parent is at sea, is a ginormous responsibility. Especially when you don’t have children of your own.  Yet, that ginormous responsibility, as scary as it is,  is not my biggest concern. Nope. My biggest concern is when the 4 of us are all home together.  That’s when it becomes dramatic.  I need routine and organization with regards to schedules.  MaineGuy needs organization with regards to physical items. Bed times schmed times, MaineGuy would say (if Sailors actually spoke like that). While I say leave the damn dishes till later, let’s start the bed time routine.

I was at the supermarket tonight and there was a divorced Dad in the store with his two Daughters. I know he was divorced, not because I checked for a ring, but because he was allowing them to pick two kinds of desserts, each. One daughter passed up on the offer. He says ‘you sure sweetie?’ Yes, she’s sure, I wanted to say.  What she wants is stability and security.  However, I was raised to be polite, so I just kept on trucking. He used the divorced Dad voice too. You know, the voice tinged with guilt.

I don’t mean to knock the Dads, I’ve seen how difficult the role of a divorced Dad is. In studies, they concluded single, divorced dads were more depressed than any other parental demographic.  This study didn’t include step parents.  It just frustrates me because decisions driven by guilt don’t benefit any of us.  Least of all the kids.  Rules are love. That should be a rap song.  Watch out Eminem.

MaineGuy and I have not been good about making time for us as a couple.  The obvious challenge is no one has enough time with him. What do you do with that? If the relationship isn’t a priority, it will die.  At this time, we’re less girlfriend/boyfriend and more Father/Bossy Baby Sitter (like Nanny McPhee, not what you see on the Spice channel). That has to change.  I have no answers, but I’m gifted with the ability to identify problems.

With all this, many wonder why I’m relocating.   I’m moving because, in my mind, yet not on paper, I’m already committed to the 3 Mainiacs.  I love ‘em.  I want to be part of their family and I want to add another member to the gang. Assuming I adjust to the challenges before I’m 98 1/2.  Did I mention my potential employer has on-site daycare. Pefecto.

Posted in MaineGuy, Parenting | Leave a comment

ManBaby

As mentioned before, MaineGuy was sick two weeks ago. He had… brace yourself boys and girls… the common cold.  The kids sent him to bed and set a timer to check on him every 10 minutes.  The kids promptly ran into Daddy’s room to see if the big ManBaby needed anything.

ManBaby was milking it. Hiding out in his room watching Baywatch reruns while I’m slaving away.  MaineKids asked me if Daddy was dying. Give me a break.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I’m sick. Fever, chills, the works.  Do you think they sent me to bed? Of course not.  I tell MaineGirl I’m sick. Be gentle.

Oh Molly, you’re fine. What are we going to do today Molly? What are we going to do?

Sigh.   I spent hours playing Old Maid, War and that card game where you hold a card on your forehead and guess if your card is higher or lower than the other player’s card.  All of this was followed by ‘What are we gong to do now Molly?’.  G’damn.

MaineGuy becomes the sunshine of my life when he sends them outside to play.  With the 3 Mainers outside, I sneak into bed to read O Magazine. Suddenly, I see tiny hands and two bobbing blonde heads  outside the bedroom window. Shooty shoot shoot.  Mission aborted. I quickly stuff pillows under the bedspread hoping they’ll think it’s me. I then stop.drop.roll into the living room.  Ha. MaineKids have been outsmarted.  I stretch out on the couch with my iPad and begin facebooking.

“Shhh. Daddy’s going to be mad. giggle giggle’.

The voices are coming from inside the house. Inside the house, not outside where Daddy told them to go.

HI Molly, What are we gonna do now?

Daddy promised today would be  funner than yesterday.

MaineGuy… one of these days, POW! Right in the kisser.

Posted in MaineGuy | 2 Comments

Change is Scary

MaineGuy was sick last week. Upon my arrival, he went to bed and I was left to care for 4 little Mainers.  I had planned on spending time that evening to prepare for my big, all day, interview the following morning. Instead, I was attempting to make dinner while MaineGirl persistently asks me to glue macaroni people, MaineCousin1 wanting cocoa puffs, MaineCousin2 eating pennies, and MaineBoy thinking now is a good time to show me drawings on the opposite end of the house. You know, the sort of thing you parents deal with regularly.

This was my first glimpse at what life would be like upon fully relocating when MaineGuy goes to sea.  Up until now, I’ve had nothing but time and attention to dedicate to the Mainers while visiting.  When my life is in Maine, there will be demands on my time. No more Little Miss Patient as MaineKids try yet another stall tactic to delay bed time.  I’m going to be a cranky pants like every other adult caring for kids.  Soon MaineGuy will  be leaving me highlighted newspaper clippings on scream free parenting.

I’m expecting a job offer sometime this week.  This job would allow me to fully relocate to Maine.  The relocation has the potential to age me faster than Mel Gibson in Forever Young.

Unlike the hearty Mainers, I haven’t been drafted.  Do I volunteer to stand on the front lines, or just tie a yellow ribbon around a tree and mail a few issues of sports illustrated?

Posted in Adjusting to Change, MaineGuy | 1 Comment